Day 19- 1/2 way done 😳

Yelling in celebration

3 wks done & 3 wks to go my tribe! I usually start with radiation then have a doc appointment after but it was opposite today. In the main waiting room Gregg and I saw an older woman who was clearly suffering. It set the tone :/ It was difficult to see and know there’s not much help or comfort we could provide. I hoped they called her back before me but that wasn’t the case. And likely she had a different doctor anyway 🤷‍♀️ My appointment went well. Weight is stable. Pain is here during the day too so I was advised to use Tramadol day and night. Even urination is painful :/ Ready for my 2 day break. Spent my 6 mins in the machine to close out the first half of treatment and my visualization is still very clear. I have armor. It is heavy armor. I always put it on over my head right to left and buckle it tight at my left side. My hair is wild. My face is dirty. My arms are bare and also dirty. The air is chilly. My sword is heavy but I have no problems wielding it. There is a shield but it’s not always with me. In the beginning it was easy to stab and slice a large tumor. Now my tumor is small and getting smaller so I use more precision. I am careful not to harm healthy tissue. But I always raise up pieces of cancer to the sun to burn it up, then use my breath to clean out dead cells from my body. It’s a process. It’s thorough. It’s effective. When I hear the machine settle and stop making noise I know it’s time to relax. I am aware of my tribe. Present. Behind and next to me. I can’t see the faces but I feel the hands. All these hands on my back. The tribe holding me steady. Supporting me. It’s y’all. Y’all have my back. I feel so supported and tall and strong that I yell. Right into the wind. I don’t know what comes out of my mouth. Yet…. This concludes the beginning and begins the conclusion.

Published by mhaensgen

Welcome to my tribe. I was diagnosed with anal cancer 2/23/21, then found out it was caused by HPV. This is the journey.

One thought on “Day 19- 1/2 way done 😳

  1. Breathe away those negative cells. Breathe in healing! Let all those hands lift you up and out of harm’s way. Breathe free.


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